Excuse me Madam, is this your kerchief?

I have proposal for you ok? Have you ever seen, back in the olden days, like the 1500's, when a girl had an interest in a man, she would ever so carefully drop her handkerchief? Ya know what I'm talking about? Then the dude would pick it up and gallantly return it to her if, he too, was interested.

I think we should bring it back!! Do you understand how much simpler that would make things?

Ok, imagine this. You're at the club and you see a sexy mandingo and you like his rhythm, style, wardrobe and all that junk. Right now, the only recourse you have is pretty cryptic and hit and miss. You shoot him a few looks or you dance your way over to him and smile a lot, all the while, hoping beyond hope that he's not an idiot who can't catch a clue or not gay.

This method can be sloppy and at times you may end up catching the attention of some one's dad who snuck in the club or worse yet, the attention of his very ugly/smelly/stupid/non-rhythmic sidekick/wingman/cousin. Not the most efficient method if you don't have time to be up in the club every night.

Introducing... dum da da daaaa... The Handkerchief! LOL I know. Just go with me on this for a minute... You get your most ballerific kerchief and step out to the club. Same dude, same scenario. You drop that bad boy at his feet. Now, I am in complete understanding that this could go one of two ways:

1. He could pick up the wickedly styled kerchief and strut his way over to you, present the kerchief to your awaiting (well lotioned) hand. If he's really good, he'll kiss the hand and the two of you can dance all night long like Lionel Ritchie.


2. He could step on your fancy kerchief or kick it, depending on how far out of your league you aimed. Is it a rejection? Yes. A harsh one? Yes, but an immediate rejection. If you think about it, you were gonna get rejected anyways. This way, you didn't spend an entire night trying drop hints in a bucket with no bottom. An entire Saturday night throwing looks at a man who was dodging them like boxer dodges jabs. Or worse yet, barking up the wrong tree.

The same scenarios can apply to shopping in the mall or drinking at the bar. Not to mention the accessorizing that can be done with the kerchief. The classy girl can get some sophisticated embroidery. The ghetto girl can get some bling-bling. Whatever says the most about you in what might only be a 2 second glance. Like a business card for dating purposes only. LOL Mine would be like a nice embroidered Barbados flag, because that actually says volumes to most West-Indian people.

So, what do you think? I think it's an awesome idea. Will it catch on, probably not. But hey, at least I'm trying. I mean, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. I don't know why this ever went away... or maybe it never left... People throw their draws on stage at concerts. I guess it's a practiced that is only reserved for the baby-boomers, their parachute draws and the upper echelons of society now a days.

Just and idea. I just think I might get more out of a night at the club this way...

The Aftermath

Guess who's back? Ok, so the aftermath. I normally could call Mr. Holla-Holla-Holla's department 6 times a day a never get this guy for a month straight. Would you believe the NEXT DAY, I call and I get this moron on the phone? No matter how much I crossed my fingers and wished.

So, I tried to act all civilized and professional, as I thought was necessary. I said "Hello," and told him why I was calling. He abruptly responds, "Hold on." Then he proceeded to place me on hold for 5 minutes and transfer me to another representative!

Like, how old are you buddy?! Acting like a little baby. But not to be so easily forgotten, would you believe he turned around and tried to add me back on Facebook again 2 days later? Of course I declined him, but then when I went to go and block him, I had already been blocked. Yet again, the actions of a sulking child.

Did I mention that he's a smoker? If you smoke or date a smoker, that's great for you but I don't. I'm not trying to kiss an ashtray. Sorry, not my cup of tea.

About a week later, I'm emptying my junk-mail folder and I noticed an email from this stalker. It went something to the gist of:

I know you don't want to talk to me anymore but I don't know why. I was outside yesterday and I heard some people saying some things about you, some serious shit. Shit you wouldn't want people saying about you. I'm just letting you know because I care.

So, ummmm..... WHAT DID THEY SAY? WHO SAID IT? You think I'm some kinda second-rate idiot? You think I don't know what you're trying to do? Smooth move Ex-lax. I'm not even sure if this jackass really even heard anything but people at my work place talk about me all the time. Tell me something I don't know. In case you haven't picked up on the game, all this fool wanted me to do was rush to my phone and call him up so that he could tell me who was besmirching my good name. He could save the day and be back in my good books. Look, don't insult my intelligence with simpleton's tactics. Just plain rude.

You know he started off well-ish. Always offering to help me do things and go places with me. Now I realize that he was just being possessive and smothering me from the get go!!

"What are you doing?"
"Grocery shopping."
"Want some company?"
"No, I'm almost done."
"Did you want me to come and help you carry them up to your apartment?"
(Proper spelling/punctuation has been assumed because i can't remember exactly how he wrote it)

Just in case you still aren't convinced that I dodged the BIGGEST bullet, I found out he's a BUM!! It wasn't until I had been exposed to a mere fraction of the instability of mental health that I found out what every one really thought about him. Everyone that I talked to afterwards said that he had borrowed some amount of money from them, ranging from $20 - $600!! And they had to hassle the man to get the money back. Who would loan this dunce anything more than a $10? Me? NEVER.

Salt in the wound... he was supposedly dating another girl in his own department for the last YEAR!! Like he didn't just want to have his cake and eat it, he wanted to have ALL the cake and eat some of someone else's too!! Not too long after this revelation, I find out that there is yet another girl who has fallen for the bullshit and she's in yet another department!! You've got to be one cocky-ass bastard to believe that you could pull of dating 3 girls from 3 different departments in the same company in the same BUILDING!! As of today's posting he has lost control of all but 1 girl. The one who wasted a year with him has left his controlling behind and I say, "Good for you girl!" Man... I dodged that bullet like Neo in the Matrix. LOL

I will have you know that up to about a month ago he still tried, for the 4th time, to re-add me as a friend on FB and I was finally able to decline and BLOCK his sorry ass. Dofus has no shame.

I still get His Saltyness on the line every once in a while, which was normally followed by a FB attempt, up until the blocking.

Like I said before.. These fools is crazy!!