What's an Oxford Comma?

Checking that POF inbox, which has quickly become the the melting pot for the dregs of dating society. After reading an article posted by one of my friends, I have since moved on to Tinder; more on that later. Here's an... interesting message: 

 Hi, I read through your profile and I gotta say, only my Freshman English Teacher made more use of the Oxford Comma than you. Oh my name starts with T! Grammar snob at your service!

What the hell is an Oxford Comma? I had to Google that crap. Also, what was the point of mentioning that your name starts with a "T"? It would have made more sense to not say your name at all, or just say your name. It's like he wanted to be formal by introducing himself, but not too formal because it's the internet.

Between your profile and your photos, I have to say, you might be the prettiest girl in this part of the internet… and you do owe me 99 cents because your profile melted my heart like a snickers bar in a pocket on a hot summer’s day. 

So... your heart costs 99 cents or your heart is a snickers or what. Cause I don't get why I owe you a real 99 cents when I melted your metaphorical snickers bar.

Anyway, I would skip all the internet dating formalities and ask you out for a drink but, as you know, the internet can be a dangerous and murky place. So I have devised some carefully selected vetting questions to ensure my safety: 

1. Which is bluer the ocean or the sky? 

2. Peanut butter or strawberry jam? 

3. Early mornings or late nights? 

Did he really want me to answer this drivel?

I totally dug the profile, you seem cool. Gotta say, your picture shows a reflection of a classy lady. How is the holiday season shopping going? Please, let’s chat sometime. 

T

The only thing that appeals to me about this man is that he's a bigger grammar nazi than I am. Otherwise, he's a big whomp whomp, on the prospects scale. Moving on.