Catfish and Schadenfreude

Catfish: The TV Show airs on MTV Canada on Tuesdays at 9. This show is the best show for people who are dating or considering dating online. I just watched my first episode and I gotta tell you, it was pretty hilarious.

This episode featured a 24 year old girl named Trina who is an exotic dancer. She had been dating THIS MAN....

....for the last year. Whom she thought was a 27 year male dancer with 2 kids. The host of show investigates the claims to find out if this person is actually who they say they are. Well!! They used some really good google-fu and were able to find out that this man is NOT who he claims to be. They find out that he is actually, THIS MAN...

...a 32 year old, chunky brotha with four kids!! FOUR! You can even imagine the amount of schadenfreude that I was feeling. Schadenfreude is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others, I think you know the feeling; it's the feeling you got when you read my post about Mr. Half-On-A-Pizza. I can't blame you, it's a pretty good feeling, cause I was howling at the TV when I saw this guy. He is everything he wasn't supposed to be. The only thing that would have made this a complete lie would have been if he was white. I'll be watching this show religiously. PVR power, activate.

Ladies, be smart when you're online; take a page out of my pessimistic  jaded book... if it looks too goof to be true, I guarantee it is.

Say What?

"You have nice hands and arms and legs."

Say what?!? Umm.. thanks, I guess. But uh... Anyways, let's take a look at that photo....

First Impression: Roses are red, Violets are best, I like to have fun.... and know your address.

Can you blame me if I'm not surprised that he's a white guy? Lol. Guy looks absolutely stupefied. But just for kicks, I'm gonna take a look at your profile...

About Me

I support Israel. I am Conservative. I do not have any brothers or sisters. I have never had a girlfriend or a job. I do not drive. I have a foot fetish. The woman that marries me will get a foot massage everyday and night for the rest of her lovely life.

You're a 30 year old man who has never had a job OR a girlfriend.... with a FOOT FETISH! What reason could you possible have to be on POF?

How many grammatical errors can you find?

C'mon, look into my one dreamy eye and tell me that this isn't ridiculous... But he has a smart phone!! I'm sorry but, I will say Good EVELING to you, Sir. I know I'm a nerd cause I'm dying with laughter right now. LOL But if you like him, feel free to send him a BBM or a hookt message (who uses that thing?), he's all yours.

Oh no he di-ent!!!

I know this man didn't really think that being rude was gonna get him a date. How did that ever seem like a good idea? "She didn't answer me today. But maybe... if I force her tomorrow I might have better luck!" You're gonna bully me into talking to you? That's not a good look buddy. Loser.

That's not creepy at all...

"So you've been 30 for 3 months, how does it feel?"

Well, I feel.. wait.... how did you know that? Even if you managed to sniff out my star sign, there was still a pretty good chance that you should have been off by at least a month. Look, this is just a helpful note, that's probably not the best opening line to lead with. I'm just saying, it comes of a bit stalker-ish.

Ooooh, you don't know how wrong you are, Sir.

Yech... Access Denied.