Tinder, the Straight Man's Grinder, But Not Really

As I mentioned earlier this week, I recently started using Tinder. It's an app that you can only use on an iPhone/iPod, I use the latter. On a  post a friend made on Facebook, I read an article from the Toronto Star that was talking about the newest trends in online dating; among a few others that didn't appeal to me was Tinder. Tinder was compared to Grinder, but I'm not sure why. Grinder is supposed to be a booty-call/random hookup type of app... for the gays. It'll show you people who are online, in a specified radius, who are looking for a hookup. This app works similarly but with a lot less of the random hookup feel, so I don't think it can be compared.

The gist of the app is that it's online dating stripped down to the bare essentials. I like that it focuses on what matters most to people who are looking for a date, whether they want to admit it or not, the physical. Some people want to pretend that it's only about the personality, I call bullshit on that. You have to have picture to use the app, none of that "ask me if you want a pic" stuff. It also adds a great feature that avoids a lot of messages that aren't going to be returned. It connects to your Facebook profile to access your likes and interests, but it will only show the other party the ones that you have in common, if any. It will also tell you if you have any mutual friends. The app will allow you to use some of your profile pics or you can upload your own to your Tinder profile. Now here's the best part. When you start up the app it'll show you a picture of a possible match, you swipe left if you don't like what you see; swipe to the right if you do. You can look into the profile to see more pics, if you have any interests in common or if the person has written a short "Tagline". For some people who may suffer from verbal diarrhea the Tagline may get you a lot further than you have before. For some guys, the more you write, the more narcissistic/rude/weird/desperate/snobby you sound.  If you like the person, swipe to the right or hit the heart icon and if they like you too, the app will tell you that you've matched and open up a chat window for you to send them a message. Most girls who use online dating will be familiar with opening your inbox to find several messages from guys you never wanted to hear from. This removes that problem as you only get messages from guys that you've expressed an interest in.

Now for the downside. This app has also turned into a hot/not type of app. A lot of guys only go online to rate girls, so just because you've matched up with a guy doesn't mean that you will actually get a message from them. As a result, I've decided that I will only respond to messages, I won't be making any first moves.

All of that being said, I did strike up a chat with an Italian guy, who can spell (bonus points) and seemed to be able to carry on a proper conversation. He lives an hour away from me (bonus points removed) and he seems quite sweet. As this is a long story, it will be posted in parts... it hasn't ended yet, but I do see it ending. Stay tuned for Part 2

What's an Oxford Comma?

Checking that POF inbox, which has quickly become the the melting pot for the dregs of dating society. After reading an article posted by one of my friends, I have since moved on to Tinder; more on that later. Here's an... interesting message: 

 Hi, I read through your profile and I gotta say, only my Freshman English Teacher made more use of the Oxford Comma than you. Oh my name starts with T! Grammar snob at your service!

What the hell is an Oxford Comma? I had to Google that crap. Also, what was the point of mentioning that your name starts with a "T"? It would have made more sense to not say your name at all, or just say your name. It's like he wanted to be formal by introducing himself, but not too formal because it's the internet.

Between your profile and your photos, I have to say, you might be the prettiest girl in this part of the internet… and you do owe me 99 cents because your profile melted my heart like a snickers bar in a pocket on a hot summer’s day. 

So... your heart costs 99 cents or your heart is a snickers or what. Cause I don't get why I owe you a real 99 cents when I melted your metaphorical snickers bar.

Anyway, I would skip all the internet dating formalities and ask you out for a drink but, as you know, the internet can be a dangerous and murky place. So I have devised some carefully selected vetting questions to ensure my safety: 

1. Which is bluer the ocean or the sky? 

2. Peanut butter or strawberry jam? 

3. Early mornings or late nights? 

Did he really want me to answer this drivel?

I totally dug the profile, you seem cool. Gotta say, your picture shows a reflection of a classy lady. How is the holiday season shopping going? Please, let’s chat sometime. 

T

The only thing that appeals to me about this man is that he's a bigger grammar nazi than I am. Otherwise, he's a big whomp whomp, on the prospects scale. Moving on.