VOTE OR DIE!! or live... you know, whatever.

Am I the only one who's sick of seeing Eharmony commercials on TV? How many times can you show the same/only 5 couples that you managed to "match"? If I had actually paid money for that service I would be sooooooo upset right now. I would dare them to come up with some kind of guarantee. I can honestly say that I have had, not ONE prospect of a man on either of the two sites I've been on.


Oh, okay. So POF has a feature on their site that lets you know when a person has actually read the message that you sent them. So it will either say "Read", "Unread", "Read/Deleted" or, the dreaded, "Unread/Deleted". 99% of the notes that are still in my inbox probably say "Read" on the other person's side. Soooo, inevitably there are those who write back and question why I read their message and didn't respond. Really? Do you actually want me to respond to that? I think it's kind of stalkerish of you to question my choices. What exactly am I supposed to say?



Dear Mr.Loser/Uncultured-Barbarian/I'm-Sure-You-Have-A-Nice-Personality:

(Please note your problem(s) below, more than one may apply)

1. I didn't respond because I find you hilarious, but not in a good way seeing as you were probably trying to be very serious. As a matter of fact, the only time I didn't laugh was at parts that were followed by "lol".
2. I find your profile remarkably offensive to women in that you call us "bytchz" or "hoes" or "hefers" in more than one place.
3. The fact that your profile pic is of you and some scantily clad woman whose face has been scratched out with MS Paint or a fingernail is disturbing to me.
4. The fact that your profile pic is of you and your... cat/dog/reptile all in your face or licking your face, is also disturbing to me.
5. You mentioned that you were on house arrest in your profile... like it was everybody's business. I'm gonna go ahead and pass, but I admire you're honesty.
6. If you scanned your pic from your passport and that is the only one you can find, I'm not interested in why you couldn't find ONE friend who had a digital camera that you could borrow.
7. All of your profile pics came from a webcam that look as though they were taken in a basement. Like, you don't leave the house? You don't see daylight? You're hiding from your wife in the basement!! Yes, that's it. No thanks.
8. English is not your first language, text messaging is. Note: POF is not on your phone and this EMAIL was not a text message.
9. I can tell you stole your profile pic from a MAGAZINE!! Really? That's just sad.
10. Did you just write "Laughing Out Loud" as opposed to writing lol? Like it makes you better than the guy in #8 cause you know what it stands for. Pretentious much?

Do you feel closure/understanding/anger now? I hope so. Happy fishing!!

PS: Next time, just assume I didn't respond cause I don't like you. Don't beg. It's not sexy, no woman likes that. Don't think that maybe there was some kind of malfuction in the system and my response got lost. You can't lose what was never sent. You're coming off as desparate. It's not a good look. Stop it.

I think I'll just copy and paste that with the problem #s in the subject line. What do you think? To direct? Not enough sugar-coating?