Put It Back On!!

Why would you even bother to put up a picture like this? Your idea of a nice body is severely skewed, my dear. There's no requirement on the site that says you HAVE to have a bathroom shot of you in your underwear with your shirt off. Trust me, they'll still let you have a profile. Ugh... put your shirt back on. Le sigh...

I like your...

Phone? Ah ha! I know what you thought I was gonna say... his cross. Get your mind out of the gutter! There's no room for the both of us. LOL So, guess who wants to meet me? This guy! What am supposed to do with this though? There aren't even anymore pics to go off of. Is this all you are, saggy pants and abs? While the abs ARE nice, your pants are too low. Oh, sorry, those aren't pants, they are underwear. Boxers... or possibly boxer briefs. Is your mother proud of you? (Malibu Commercial Ref) That you're on the internet in your underwear?

Sidenote: 6'2"?!? I feel so short. I really hope most of these guys are lying about their height... by like 5 inches. Lol.

Lyrics!!

Alright, for those of you who don't understand what I mean by lyrics, I propose the following definition:

lyrics
	(noun)(pl)Words, dialogue. To charm/impress with flattery. Ex: "That boy has some serious lyrics."      "I can lyrics any girl in here, just watch."

Let the lyrics fly!!!

One cent, five cent, ten cent, dolla, dolla, dolla, dolla.

I may not look it but I am a surprisingly good dancer. Get me into a fete with some soca and I can whine with the best of them ;)

Gotta love that "dolla dance". LOL

Hello pretty how are you?my name is delon'i have read your profile You seems as a mature and easy going

woman.There are not to many serious ladies on here so if i should meet any one I would love it to be youLet me 

show you what it means and what it feel's like to be with a real man.

Watch it!! Happy day, I found a real man... with lyrics!!

Hey how are you doing today beautiful. Hope you having a good day. It's a beautiful day outside, do you have any plans for today? I loved your profile and would love to chat with you. So msg me back sweetie.

P.S. by the way you should model you look beautiful........ 

Canada's Next Top Model, here I come!! Why did I apply Canadian Tyra? Cause some dude on an online dating site said I should.Lol. Seriously though, what's with all the pet names? Like he and I are so familiar that we should be on those terms.

Sexy stomach..you're not sucking it in are you?

Why yes, yes I am. How ever did you know? You should see what it really looks like.

Hmmmmm..... I'm not usually this forward but ..... I can't stop thinking about the things I'd do to you ......

Riiight... I'm gonna go ahead and pass on that. But doesn't it sound like the most promising committed relationship?

Nice lyrics, but wait!! There's more!! Tomorrow, or the day after.

At least he's honest...

I have to honestly say, when I opened this page I jumped back a little from the screen. I'm really beginning to believe that I might be quite lucrative with this profile pic business.

Daaaaaayuuuummm! So I'm back on POF (Plenty Of Fish) as the speeddate site was getting really depressing. To be honest there are some alright guys on the site. No, I'm not gonna get to ahead of myself as they may be good looking and cray [sic] at the same time. If not for a good date, I'm getting some REALLY good jokes from this site.

Now let's check out this... dude, read the last paragraph:

LOL, the man know what he has to offer. Personality. However, it's much easier to concentrate on words when you're reading a profile and not actually there in person. Unless he's planning on going on the date with some cue cards in front of his face the whole time. And check it:

I still live at my parents house and also work for my parents... I feel bad. He seems very sincere but that is a HORRIBLE profile pic. He cannot look that bad from further away. You what the yardies say, "He look good from far, but far from good." 

Tomorrow, we'll be taking a look at some of the LYRICS that I have been getting on here. I've been back on this site for 3 days and I must say, they may not be good looking but I'm almost tempted to respond because the lines are funny or creative... but I'd have to be pretty bored or sadistic, cause I'm superficial like that and I'm okay with that.

To Date or Not To Date...

Hype911

I feel like pervert. Or someone who can't come to terms with their age, with certain large cat like attributes. He's 22!! He wants me to go to the movies. I'm assuming it's because he's a student and possibly broke, which isn't really a deal-breaker for me, but still. The movies are not really a get to know you type of environment. This is going back to post earlier this week. Does age really matter? Should I test it out?

Knowing you sadists, I'll probably be one a date by next weekend. just so you can catch some jokes when I get back. Tsk tsk tsk... Shame on you all. Lol

What's That On Your Cheek?

Excuse me Sir, you have a piece of some sunglasses... or some bad Photoshop on your cheek or something. FAIL! This gives me the indication that there used to be someone next to you in that photo and you tried to clone her out. It also tells me that you attention to details is severely lacking. Photoshop can be your friend... but you've just made another enemy... and a fool of yourself. Two birds with one stone buddy!! Good for you.

I Think Your Pants Are On Fire

Liar, LIAR!!! Your Photoshop skills need some refining.

1. The head doesn't even match the body. 
2. Which 22 year old has the body hair of a grown ass man. (It looks kinda Sasquatch-ish though, like pube-ish even) 

What's worse is you had the nerve to message me? SURPRISE! I have the nerve to write back. 

I feel like I censored myself too much though. Because.. ya know... just in case I'm wrong. Truthfully, if I am wrong, the realist inside me says that there has to be something massively wrong with your personality that you've been driven to online dating. Like... you used to have a sexual relationship with your car. Could I be wrong?

Not bloody likely. ACCESS DENIED!!

Age Ain't Nothin

Is age really nothing more than a number? Some say no. The courts say it's the difference between jail time and a regular one night stand.

I'm not sure if I'm convinced. I've met guys who were 30 and behaved like they were still teenagers (see my post on the Peter Pan Syndrome). On the other hand I've met 25 year olds who... act like teenagers. I don't think I've actually ever dated a guy who acted older or more mature than their age.
One thing I can say is, I can't date old dudes. If you look old enough to be my dad, you're out the door. I don't really care if you're young at heart, your face is saying otherwise. Lol Different strokes for different folks but... Oh my gosh, I think I might be a cougar.

I mean, Even when I look at guys who are 30 , they look OLD. And when they get up to like 35.... Lawd help me.