Maybe This Is Why These Dudes Are On POF

I am pleased... ish to say that I found one guy that who's profile didn't repulse me; who's initial POF messages didn't make me wanna get out my red pen and make corrections on my laptop screen. He's 29, black and he likes Game of Thrones, that's a bonus for me.

ONE weekend later and his access has been denied... *smh*

I'm not quite sure what happened; it's like he morphed into a freshie before my eyes. His first messages were eloquently written and had perfect grammar. He offered to add me to BBM. In hindsight, I am SO GLAD that I have BBM because I now have no need to change my phone number.

I think my cousin put it perfectly when she said:

Maybe this is why these dudes are on POF; Cause they have no communication skills.

Couldn't have said it better myself! The man came on BBM popping out questions like he had them written down; like the was his application questionnaire. While that might be an admirable feature to some of you, the man didn't even give me a chance to answer on question before he'd throw in another one. Not only that, the questions were so random. And the spelling mistakes... they make me cringe like a spoonful of lemon juice mixed with cod liver oil.  Example:

Mr. NoSkills: Are you a Christian?
Me: Yes, sort... *still typing*
Mr. NoSkills: Your into sci-fi? *cringe*
Mr. NoSkills: Like space movies
Me: I guess so, what qualifies as a space movie?
Mr. NoSkills: It's in space

No sh*t Sherlock! How do you jump from that question to this? Worse off, why would you ask me if I like a specific genre if you don't know anything about it. Then he started asking if I like comics; I should've known cause he likes Game of Thrones. Then the freshie came out... or at least turned off the Queen's english app. But he said he was born here!! How do I know? I was rude enough to ask. I had to know! Because it was becoming real hard to understand where this was coming from?

Mr. NoSkills: Have you read the GoT books
Mr. NoSkills: I never

You never what? Read books? Yea, I kinda figured that out on my own. This "I never" phrase made SEVERAL appearances in our conversation. Juuuust in case you were gonna make the typo excuse for him.
......
Mr. NoSkills: Do you read comics?
Mr. NoSkills: Or just novel 

No comics, but yes I did read that ONE novel. Although GoT is 5 books in itself.
......
Mr. NoSkills: So u gonna watch the darknight rise alone?
Mr. NoSkills: Or friends
Me: With friends, already have tickets.
Mr. NoSkills: Batman gonna die.
Mr. NoSkills: Its gonna be a smart film. 

I didn't know Dark Knight was one word. Bur hey, nice try though, trying to invite yourself to the movies and all. More importantly, which Canadian says a movie is gonna be SMART? Are you and Englishman now? I believe they normally say that about clothes and such, not movies. Like, "Oy, you look real smart in that blouse." Lol. I know a few yahdies that might say that though. LOL!! I laugh everytime I read that. Smart movie.
.........

Mr. NoSkills: How long have you been on pof?
Me: 1 month. But I was on before. It didn't go too well.
Mr. NoSkills: What happen

Freshie right?!? Try reading in your best yahdie accent. It should sound like, "Wha appen?" LOL

Then the conversation turned to gay people and how a lot of guys are bi-sexual and him telling me how I shouldn't trust them.... Yeeeeaaaa....

Needless to say, I've been avoiding that man like Syphilis. I can't stop shaking my head. We'll give him another day. We'll talk tomorrow. *smh* 

How Not to Crop

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.


I guess people have decided to be nice a crop out the faces of their friends who would rather not be featured on an online dating site. But I have to say, I'd rather see a cut off portion of an arm or maybe a cheek, than some of these demonic looking pics. 


And last but not least thee WORST photoshop crop I have ever seen. The people at Adobe must get so upset when they see stuff like this. There's a programmer in an Adobe office somewhere who died a little when he saw this. A small tear ran down his cheek as he whispered, "This is not what this was made for." Unless he happens to be a little person for real. But then I don't think that he's actually tall enough to drive that car. C'mon buddy! He looks like a child playing in Daddy's car. LOL

What is this supposed to portray?

Is this your way of telling us that you have crabs? Lol. Get it? Crabs! Also, that you have a bachelor apartment, unless you just prefer to watch TV in the kitchen. Hehehe.

Do you smell something funky?

No? Well obviously he does!! LOL. Wait, I got another one: "Hey, so this is the friend that I was tellin you about! This is Bertha." LOL. What amazes me, is the fact that this is the ONLY picture he has decided to post. There are no other pictures on his profile. Like this was the BEST picture he could find to serve as a first impression. And truthfully, as the person looking at this profile, I look at the picture and all of a sudden I can't help but feel like I was the person on the other end of the camera. Like it was me he was looking at when he made that face.... but then I died with laughter because it also looks like he's trying to cut one. He even has the leg lift going! LOL.  I wonder if that's his reaction to someone saying, "Smile!" And that's what he gave them. Could you imagine? LOL I could go on forever, I'm gonna stop. 

Lyrics!! Part 2

Let's hear some more lyrics. Honestly, some of these actually made me laugh, but then again so did their profile pictures. So, although they get and A for effort, they get and F in presentation.


Where do you get your moisterizer from?


I am guessing it was created by the hands of god, blended with roses from the
harvested fields of the Garden of Eden. Its doing wonders for your complexion


Oh, and if you don't laugh at my pickup line, then you have no soul.


I laughed, so I guess I have a soul. Sad part is, he sent me the same message two weeks later. Whomp whomp.


Hmmmmm..... I'm not usually this forward but ..... I can't stop thinking about the
things I'd do to you ......


Does that line actually work on someone who doesn't work for a 1-900 chat line?


You have nice hands and arms and legs and cute toes.


and toe nails and arm hair and pores and nice follicles... He's very specific, especially because I don't show my toes in any of my pics.. creepy.


hi prety


So, straight off the bat you have 50% spelling record and you only wrote 2 words. Was it that much work to spell check? Can't get any worse than that right?


nc pics sumer tm backyard lol


I was wrong. Of the words in there that are not in text speak only one of them is spelled correctly. So that's... 1 for 4, 25% for a 6 word phrase. Why bother?


Goodmorning pretty. Can i be your body guard?


And Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii eeeee iiiiiiiiiiii, will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuu..... That would be our song. lol


Wow, you sure are a work of beauty.


Tell me, how does a girl like you remain single? Do you chase the men away with pepper spray or is it somethig more lethal?


Oh it's something much more lethal, west indians call it skrewface. Works wonders for keeping away beggars as well. lol


what would you say if I asked you your top 3 body parts?

My head, my neck and my shoulders. LOL

On scale of 1 to 10 how much do u like it when a guy goes down on u

Wow. Do you know I got this message twice from 2 different profiles? What is he trying to pull exactly?

Hey you are so cute. I am just curious if it hurt..............................when you fell from heaven. I know very lame but I hope I got 
your attention.


If your interested message me back, I am a very funny, easy going guy......

Oh, no you didn't.... steal the Fresh Prince's line! Is nothing sacred? 

lovers are best of friends sooo give me the oppotunity to accomplish this thought with you it most people believe in soo many things but wat i believe in is finding the right person to make u happy either black or white it doesnt matter ,what matters is if both of us can find a covergence with each other finding our strenght and weaknesses and learning to build a relationship of love and trust most especially to be best friends bcos great can only happen if you just give a try of my thoughts....reply plz

Wha? Longest run-on sentence ever and it still didn't make any sense.

Stop the Presses!!!

Holy crap!! So I was doing my regular surfing this evening on POF and I happened upon a familiar, yet digusting face... my ex, from like 4 years ago. He was by far my most disliked ex of the few exes I have. Now that I see him again... I'm so glad I got out when I did!! He's lying about his age, STILL lives at his mother's house and... wait for the kicker.. he couldn't even be bothered to TAKE A NEW PICTURE!! The photo he has up on the site is one that I TOOK!! I have proof too!! Let's take a look...

Exhibit A

This a photo of my mummy (aww) in my apartment.

Exhibit B

Take note of the photo on the right-hand side. Notice anything?!?

That is the epitome of laziness. You couldn't take a new photo? This also speaks to the point that I've been trying to make for over a month now. Take care when you're choosing photos to put online to represent yourself. That's my mom in the large photo and a picture of him and I in the smaller photo. In case you're wondering, I blurred his face out to save myself the embarrassment of people knowing that I dated this ape, not because I wanted to respect his privacy. I care not for his privacy. Now Let's take a look at the profile... lol

If you know him, or knew him when I did, you can pick out the lies for yourself. But I have to say, he doesn't read... like not even a menu. Oh, yes that is his bbm pin at the bottom. I don't know who puts your bbm pin out there for the world to see. But well, I... dont care. Loooooser... smh.