Cuddling Holding Hands Kissing Massaging Etc.

Sensitivity, amirite? Can't live with it, can't live without it. 

A new applicant sends me a message on POF and he's aight. I'm not completely repulsed, nor do I feel as though he's prettier than me. So, I send him a message back and I get a response immediately.

Let's be real, while I hate the games that are played in texting, like not responding too eagerly so that it seems like you're a busy person; when we all know that you're eating cereal out of a cup, while binge watching the latest Netflix release. But I feel like it's reached the point where everyone either does it, or expects it. I'm the type of person who will match the behavior of the other party; if you habitually take and hour to respond from me, we will finish a 9 part text message by the time I finish my work day... only because one of those texts was a 2 part response... "Lol"... "k".

That being said, the fact that this guy was back on it within a minute, was a little unnerving. What was worse was the response included the words "kool" and "awsome".  *twitch* I will have you know that the word "kool" appeared several more times throughout his messages; to the point that I was unsure if he was doing it to be cute.... or he just really didn't know! 

I calmed my twitches and told myself that he might be a really nice guy anyway; a nice, grammatically idiotic guy. He gave me his number so we could text... and.. I ... gave... him... mine. Smh.

What I found particularly vexing was the way he would start all of his text conversations with, 

"Heyy"

Like, why the extra Y. I only do that when I'm trying to indicate a certain level of sassiness. But even then it would be, "Heeeeeyyyyyyyyy" and I wouldn't start every text conversation with it. At least not as a grown woman.

I now know that this man is a very sensitive being and he didn't quite get my sort of humor. It seemed like I hurt his feelings a few times. Example: (I'm twitching while transposing this)

U r to good to be true

So I ask what's the catch.

I'm an axe murderer. Lol

No serious I'm afraid our first time hangingout is gonna be so good I don't want it to end.

You're gonna kidnap me? 

Lol

Nooooo. Don't make fun. :(

Now, I haven't figured out the end game for this guy, but I feel like someone told him to "kill the ladies with sensitive shit and you won't be able to keep them off the jock." That, is not true. Not all women prefer to have super sensitive guys. We all don't wanna be with the guy who cries after sex. Or at least the guy that makes you believe that he will cry after sex. I say this because, this came right after that string of texts:

Don't u want our first time hangingout to be cuddling holding hands kissing massaging etc.

No, sir. I'd rather it involve some coffee, in a very public setting and some COMMAS!! Jesus, man! What you just wrote implies that I will be cuddling some clasped hands, that are somehow making-out and massaging. Nope, not my idea of a night out.

The man would ask if I wanted to come "cuddle" at all kinds of hours on a school night! Suffice it to say, he came off as a very thirsty gentleman. Parched, even. Severely dehydrated.

This started on a Monday. I was legitimately sick by Thursday with a cold. Good excuse to postpone any arrangements for a date. Give him some more time to woo me. Because up until that point the man had made very little effort to actually get to know me. And not that I'm in search of compliments but the most he had said in that regard was, "Ur good looking and all".  I think you can come up with some more sensitive shit than that. By the time Friday came around, I was ready to fade to black. Just ghost. 

As this is an ongoing story, happening in real-time, you'll have to stay tuned. Part 2