You ever date a guy who, by the end of the relationship, takes you back to when you were a virgin and you were deflowered by a guy who turned out to be a complete tool. And 10 years later, looking at a half eaten cheesecake, you wonder what the hell you ever saw in the guy in the first place... I mean, beyond the chiseled abs and the straight, gleaming white smile and that delicious man smell.... if you're one of the lucky ones.
I had that feeling last night. It's the revelation that I call the clearing of the fog of adoration or some call, the removal of your rose colored glasses. Then that damn hind-sight kicked in and I'm so pissed at myself. I was so cheesed that I had bothered to give that man the pleasure of knowing anything more than just my acquaintance. I think that if we were only allowed to have like 3 sexual partners in our entire lives and after the 3rd on your whole punani just folded in on itself and closed up. Then you found out that you had wasted the last one on a LOSER!!... Oh man, there would be a lot more female murders and lesbians (by choice) in the world.
Ladies, trust your instincts. I had the feeling but SOMEONE, not naming any names, (Britney!!!)told me that I shouldn't be so distrusting of men in general. While that's probably true because I am the President of the Town of Screwface and I am probably the most cynical, pessimistic, realist you will ever meet, the problem is, I always turn out to have been right.
Mr. Common-Law. Tsk, tsk, tsk.... Sigh. One problem with the man is that he was way too non-confrontational. There were decisions that needed to be made that he dodged, consistently and quite well with whispers of sweet nothings. I can't be with a man that is unable to make a stand when he is unhappy with something. Because what ends up happening, and had happened to this fellow in previous relationships, is that they find someone else who doesn't do that annoying thing that you do. Which is all well and good... except he have the cojones to face the fight that will come when he tries to finish his business with you first. This occurrence is also known as CHEEEEATING!! Oh no, what they do instead is wait for you to find out about their other "friends" (for some girls it may take more than one of these occurrences for them to get the drift) so that you'll end the relationship for them. They never have to take the plunge or choose a time and place, the disgruntled girlfriend will do it for them.
Now, Mr. Common-Law told me the biggest flaw that he found in himself was that he was selfish. I think he felt that if he warned me that he was selfish, he couldn't be held responsible for my sour feelings when he did selfish things, because he had warned me. Sorry buddy, just because you told me so doesn't mean that it's okay for you to behave in that manner. Nor does it soften the blow when you selfishness hurts my feelings. Like.... just because I tell people that I'm mercilessly rude, doesn't mean that they're any less aggravated when I tell them that I don't like their shirt.
The most depressing thing of all in this matter, is that yet another good man has fallen to PPS (Peter Pan Syndrome). This man could speak three languages, graduated from university, reads books (that don't have pictures) on a regular bases, the man was ripped (like you could scrub clothes on his abs) and, wait for it... COULD SPELL!!! Say what? That's right. He used phrases like "moot point" in a proper sentence, without effort.
moot
-adjective: open to discussion or debate, debatable, doubtful.
As I had predicted, he inherited this disease from his father, who is single. Last night, during a conversation with Mr. Common-Law, I mentioned the word "marriage" in reference to a conversation that we had on a previous day and the man looked at me like he had just thrown up in his mouth a little. Then, he actually said that he had thrown up in his mouth a little. Which leads me to question, what on earth happened in your life that gave you such a great disdain for even the mention the word? He seems to think that the "bachelor pad" the he and his dad occupy is the bees knees. But in reality his father is probably lonely and cries at night and then puts on a smile and some visine for his son in the morning.
I feel so bad for the man, that for this time and this time only, I am actually considering abandoning my normal boxing of this man. What is boxing you ask? A symptom of my need to compartmentalize. It consists of a systematic blocking out of the man in question, which includes:
- deletion/blocking from facebook
- blocking on msn (back in the day when I still used msn)
- deletion/blocking on blackberry messenger
- blocking of all email addresses associated with the dude
- I will not change my phone number for refuge from any man, I'd rather cuss him out first. I've had this number too long.
- I will not read nor will I respond to any texts
The only reason why I'm even entertaining the abandonment of a process that has worked SO well for me before is because I would love to hope that he realizes sooner than later that he's headed for a life of loneliness and embarrassment. Maybe I can even become a voice of reason.
Let's be realistic, there are a few, and I mean FEW, women in Toronto who may share his hate for the institution of marriage. You show me a girl who never wants to get married and I will show you a LIAR!! 98% of the time. But to truly find one of these girls she would have to be the first one to say it, without hearing any coercion or propositions from this man. Because otherwise, she's lying to herself and to the dude, hardcore. You know, he might be able to convince her at first because she's desperate and wearing the same rose colored glasses that I had on last week. But eventually that girl's gonna start dropping hints. If he's really good he'll be able to get her back on track again with a bit of clever talking. But you better be sure that after 10 YEARS, she gonna start dropping lyrics and ultimatums.
Love is like sunshine, you should know it as soon as you see it. The useless men out here are trying to make us believe that love is like lightning, you gotta wait for a few more flashes or hear the thunder to be REALLY sure it was actually lightning that you saw the first time. My LARGE problem with that theory is that you may not see another flash of lightning at all today. You might even have to wait for a brand new thunderstorm all together!! This could be next month in some countries or next decade in cities that suffer from severe droughts. After a year at MOST, you should know if you love someone, without thought or delay.
"It don't take a whole day to recognize sunshine." - Common
